5 years

So next week will mark 5 years since I had to get used to referring to him as my husband. It’s weird how quickly it changed and became part of the language — not to mention how much things have changed for me in life in that time.

I’m still at the same job I was doing back then, though I’m trying to find something new to do. I need new challenges to keep myself interested, and I haven’t really found many in the last while. I’m still hopeful that I’ll be able to move into something new in the next while, but it’s hard to move around in our roles sometimes, and I’m high enough up that usually I need experience in whatever I’m trying to move into that I just don’t have. I have confidence I could do something different and be good at it (hopefully), but it’s getting there that’s a challenge.

I also have another kid now. My daughter was born in October 2011, and now I have a son that was born in October 2015. It wasn’t really planned to have them both in the same month, but once I knew I was due in October I was hoping to have him in the same month for shits and giggles. I did have a miscarriage between the two of them, so the timing would’ve been different if that had panned out, but it wasn’t meant to be.

I have a new hobby, as those who follow me on Facebook or other social media sites can attest. I took a class in beading when I was pregnant with my son and I really got into it. I love that I can complete most projects in a few hours, including the findings and so on and have something I can wear immediately. I still love knitting, but that’s a much more involved process and I’m terrible at actually completing the projects unless they’re for someone. That said I have two sweaters in the works/almost finished for my son and they’ve been at the same stage for months. So…

Being on maternity leave this past year has been really nice, if you ignore the stressful parts that include the kids. I’ve been able to really immerse myself into my crafty side — which has of course had the downfall of making it so that I want to stay home and do this full time — but it also has been immensely creatively satisfying. I just feel fulfilled when I’m making something, whether it’s jewelry or knitting or writing, or even sometimes baking or cooking (though I hate thinking up what to make… that’s the downside of trying to decide meals for four people now).

I’ve been trying to set myself small goals — post an image every day to my two instagram feeds, one of which is dedicated to things that I have made or are works in progress, and the other is dedicated to the kids and other goofy things I see/think in my daily life. Now that that’s something of a habit come some of the other things I like to do — writing, creating, and trying to figure out how to promote what I’m doing.

Because as much as I’m making things I like, I’m also trying to sell those things. Don’t worry, this isn’t an ad, just a statement of fact. I have never been the type of person who wanted to lose themselves in their kids, and I’m working hard to keep me time and me activities carved out.

Don’t get me wrong, I still do lots with the kids — not that I always have a choice — and they’re obviously a huge part of my life, but our intention is to raise two, independent children that will eventually leave us and have lives of their own. If I don’t have interests and activities of my own, 1) I will very quickly go batshit insane, and 2) I won’t be modelling good habits and strong character traits for them.

For sure right now my daughter isn’t processing things in those terms, but she knows her dad plays magic cards and football, and that her mom does dance classes and beading and that’s good enough to start.

So here’s a few minutes I’ve carved out for myself while the baby sleeps and the toddler plays on my computer. I’ve managed to prove that my laptop can still connect to our wifi (I was half-convinced the card was fried, but I guess it might’ve been the old router), and that I can still write boring screeds when I have something to say and I force myself to write it out. I’m still always writing posts in my head, I just get lazy and never actually write them down.

Anyhow, all of that to say, if you do want to see what it is I’m making (and the husband is contributing soon, too), I’m on instagram as jmgeekcraft. I have completely different items for sale in our Etsy shop, and soon those two things will actually overlap.

Every now and again, someone I dated in the past will pop into my head and I’ll relive whatever parts of the time I spent with them that my memory can retain. Part of me is tempted to start browsing my archives to see some of the details, but I’m not sure I care that much and I’m sure I have better things to do with my time (like soon I have to start packing up snacks so we can leave for the toddler’s swim lesson). And yet I’m sure I’ll end up doing it at some point, because hey why not.


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