Okay, so the following is a snippet of history/stupidity from the DB and my history. This conversation came about nearly two months after we’d met for the first time (though we didn’t meet again for nearly another two months after this conversation). A conversation on me drinking somehow degenerated into a conversation on how I should seduce myself (excuse the typos/spelling and homonym mistakes)… and don’t think I’m the only one in this relationship who’s seduced herself – another conversation we had dealt with him seducing himself. He needs wine and candlelight, apparently.

(I’m in italics)

just don’t slip any roofies into your own drinks
party time….awwwlllll right!

*rofl* But how else am I supposed to take advantage of myself?!

be smooth
be charming, a gentleman and don’t stare at your breasts

Aw, that *never* works!

your right
but it sounds good anyway

*sigh* I’ll see what I can do

maybe if you catch yourself by surprise

Yeah, the hand up the thigh sometimes can work

use some cheesy pick up line

Yeah, if I make myself laugh, that’ll work

humour breaks the ice

and gets her smiling at you, important first step

exactly
make eye contact

I don’t usually reveal my flexibility this early on, but okay

ask questions, but don’t reveal too much about yourself
mystery is the spice of life

Okay, be interested in what I have to say, good, good

no more advice, thats usually where I stall out

Aw, poor baby
Should I flash a big wad of cash?

hey, this is all for you
well, if you take yourself to be a golddigger, it may work

The idea of someone to pay my bills is tempting, but I usually wind up dating people who make less than me

which is like, everyone
govt employees…..sheesh

Hah, I have debts out my wazoo, my daer

doesn’t mean you don’t make a lot, it means you like to live a generous lifestyle 🙂

Well, I have to romance myself properly!

see

I have to treat myself in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed

you just can’t expect to take yourself home if all you can afford is cheap dates

Exactly!
Although cheap dates can be fun, too

sometimes more fun
trolling for pennies is a fun date….it serves too purposes…..having fun and saving up for future dates
too=two

*laugh* Wow, you take cheap dates to a new extreme !:)

the ideal date is coming home with more money then what you left with, or even a new mansion of some sort

And here I thought you’d settle for sex 😉

well, when one isn’t happening, move on to the next best thing
swimming in a pool of 100s

*grin* I want your life!

so do I

Clearly, this romance is the modern-day equivalent of Shakespeare — though not one of his tragedies. I got shit to do before I die.

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