Not to say that there are problems, exactly, in this world of mine… simply stresses equating to a shorter internal temper and things bothering me a bit more than is usual for me. It will pass, and all will once again be well.
Now we’re into November and the real deadlines start. I have roughly a month to finish up the paper, and that includes finishing some of my reading — fortunately, the end is in sight for that. I need to get my literature review off to my professor ASAP (or, honestly, several weeks ago), and then continue writing as I wait for his assessment of the crap I spew. Not to mention all the move organization that comes, and all of the paperwork that has to be filed, the cheques that have to be written, the organization that has to be done, the packing and purging that has to take place… if it weren’t for the fact that winter can be damn cold up here, I’d just find myself a comfy cave, toss my shit into it and be done with it.
R and N had a Hallowe’en party on the weekend, so I made an appearance with the DB. As with most social gatherings lately, the first little while felt awkward and I was toying with leaving almost as soon as we arrived; fortunately that time passed once I started chatting a bit with a few of the guests and relaxing a bit more.
It’s interesting to note how I’ve changed somewhat since I moved out on my own and then once I moved in with the DB; my grandfather’s funeral drove that home a bit more clearly. In short, though I’ve always been an introvert who enjoys social gatherings on occasion, I really have gotten accustomed to my quiet time and space. Sure, the DB and I share a townhouse, but we often spend time apart when we’re there; he’s downstairs in the mancave playing Xbox, whereas I’m in the living room watching tv, cooking in the kitchen, or playing on my computer upstairs. Sometimes I’m video gaming or taking a bath, but overall, we have dinner together, then do our own thing until bedtime. Granted, there are days that I’m not as fond of this division, but overall, it’s nice to have — it’s relaxing being able to decompress and do our own thing.
Admittedly, my grandfather’s funeral was a time of high stress and heightened emotions and other sensitivities, and maybe at times like these we’re supposed to want to surround ourselves with family, but for the most part, I wanted to smack mine around — at least the closer ones. It was somewhat similar at my Puppy’s funeral; I wanted to be alone and not have to be around my family, especially considering my family at that point was cousins with whom I really share nothing… and sorry, but I’m not really into children as a source of entertainment overall. Give me somepne’s pet, and I’m pretty well off, but watching a toddler isn’t really how I clear my mind of sorrow.
Yeah, I’m not really providing context, it’s true… Bah. I’m looking forward to being able to set up a better study space than what I have here. I like this place, but I’m looking forward to personalizing my space more and making my own refuge — because despite what the DB tries to say, the kitchen isn’t my refuge, and I don’t decompress through baking him pies. 🙂