So the other night I was contemplating going back on the pill to keep or put my sex drive in check.
This may constitute a crime against humanity, I’m not sure.
All I know is, it’s very frustrating being ready to go all the time, especially when you aren’t getting laid as much as you might like.
And I know, the male readers of my site are currently playing me the tiniest violin, yelling at the monitor, throwing things, having no sympathy, telling me I understand maybe just a little bit how they feel, etc., etc.
Of course, I’ve also discovered that doing things like fantasizing rape scenarios (if you don’t understand it, I’m not going to try to explain it) during long, boring meetings certainly makes them much more tolerable.
Damnit, I had something else I was going to write, but now I’ve forgotten what it was. I hate my brain sometimes, although I suspect it would like me more if I gave it more sleep on occasion.
Speaking of being a geek… *sigh* For the majority of my life, I bit my nails. More or less immediately after the Smooshy and I broke up, I stopped, and for the most part, I’ve been able to maintain that (let’s ignore the two nails I bit off today). I’m still getting used to looking after them; half the time I just tear them off and then file them down. The rest of the time, I’m okay at the cutting and filing. The problem is finding some nice balance — as it stands, it’s tough to balance them being ‘pretty’ and them not being a royal pain in the butt when I’m trying to type, especially on the laptop.
Granted, that’s not the best example of geekiness, but cut me some slack — I’m exhausted and probably going to bed soon.
I feel sometimes as if there’s not much point to my updating. I mean, it’s nice to get my thoughts out for the 3-4 people who read this to see, and sometimes I write something that apparently people can relate to, but for the most part… urgh. Markuk has said he wants to see me with a byline somewhere, and that he doesn’t feel my thesis will be sufficient (ass), but it’s hard sometimes to feel motivated to write when I don’t even know if I’m being read. Hell, I can barely get the motivation to work on my thesis most nights, and I know that’s going to be read by at least 3-4 people on the graduate committee, if I ever make it to that point.
I just don’t want to chance losing any creative abilities I might have to the governmentese that I have to spew out on occasion. I have such a hard time taking anything like that seriously, which can hinder me at work sometimes, I’m sure. I’m tempted to simply write a few paragraphs of a story and email it to Rune and have him contribute — no purpose, no thought, just write and bounce back and forth, and see where it goes. Meghan and I did that in high school, and it was a lot of fun, and infamous amongst our group of friends. 🙂
Anyhow, I’m babbling and yawning, so I guess it’s time to pack it in. I just want a vacation from my obligations so that I can invest time in my hobbies. The problem is I let myself get overwhelmed by things, or I bore of them, and then it becomes impossible to focus on any one thing. Let’s face it, how many knitting projects do I have just sitting around right now? 😛 But that’s because I need some help from my mom on finishing things again… either that, or find someone who likes sewing up knitting and let them at it. 😉