So, time for life updates. I got through my readings the other night and presented them in class yesterday morning. Because I’m a flaming tool, I was up until 2 a.m. writing a very crappy analysis of the readings, and then I had to get up bright and early the next morning to run down to the Grand and Toy to pick up ink for my printer. I splurged and bought replacements for the colour cartridges as well, and I’m lucky I did – I’m not sure if my printer would have actually printed were those not replaced. My printer is a cranky bitch, but I love it because it’s so pretty and nice. Kinda like my cats.
The last few days I’ve been running on nothing but caffeine, and contrary to my usual pattern, where I’m crashing at the end of the day, I’ve been super-wired by the time I leave for home. I laid down last night to try to take a nap, and I think I might’ve, but I couldn’t tell, which was very weird. Everything was simply spinning, and nothing would shut down. So I got up, grabbed some dinner, then headed over to the Newf’s place for our planned talk.
Some of you may know this, because I’ve been talking about it for a bit, but the Newf and I were heading for a parting of ways, and it was formalized last night. Apparently he’d thought of doing it on Saturday, I know I’ve been thinking about it or trying to do it for a little while now, and so it finally happened. The conversation went fairly smoothly, and it marks the second mutual breakup I’ve had (the last being the runner), and we both said we really enjoy hanging out with one another and will continue to do so. Then we both said that we’ve said that in the past and not meant it, but this time we actually did. 🙂
The runner had called me when I was in Indiana, and then again earlier this week. I finally got around to calling him last night, and we both did a quick life update. When we’d broken up, we both said we’d met other people. He asked me last night what I’d been doing, so I said that I’d just broken up with the boy. He said he wasn’t going to ask what the story was – I didn’t know if it was a politeness thing, or didn’t want to seem like he was fishing, or what… though with the way the rest of the conversation went, I think I know why. He didn’t mention anything about his girl situation, so I can only assume it didn’t pan out.
He asked what my plans were for the rest of the evening, and I said that a friend was coming over to watch CSI (which was true). He then said he didn’t want to screw up any potential date thing (or something to that effect), but that if I hadn’t been entertaining, he’d have suggested he could come over and watch the show with me… but didn’t want to screw up any cuddling that might go on. I joked that it’d be nice to get cuddled from both sides, but he didn’t go for that.
So I’m thinking that I missed out on or passed up on a booty call opportunity, which is both amusing and, well, amusing, really. Maybe now’s the time for me to go making booty calls to all of my exes, and really live life up, naught-style!
Markuk and I are in discussions for me to travel out to Vancouver and visit him across a weekend; before the Newf and I broke up, GLR suggested I could sleep with him. I said I hadn’t, and no offence, Markuk, but wasn’t too interested in doing so, and then told him that contrary to his belief, I don’t spend all of my time flat on my back with my legs wide open, hollering, “Come and get it!” to every guy who passes through my life. I also reminded him that he gets (and apparently turns down) many more offers for sex than I do in a given day, week or even month, and he repeated his shock at this equation.
I like the boy, I do, but sometimes… sometimes I’m not sure he realizes just how his comments make me feel. There’s often an element of truth in humour (although I do try to keep my harassing to subjects that someone should know are patently untrue), and his jokes or suspicions that I should or have slept with this person or that one bother me, which I’ve told him before. I’m wondering if maybe I should provide him with a list of my past partners, just to hopefully end this for good.
I also learned that his coworkers thought my ‘friend’ (actually my sister) was cute and that he should date her. Then when they found out she was my sister, they said he should date her anyways; I fear the reasons why.
I had a brief chat last night with Ben. Last weekend I was hanging around the house thinking that I miss him, and that it would’ve been a perfect day to hang out with him, and it seems he’s missing folks out this way, too. I know he’s not that far away, and that friendships have survived worse, and that he and I have gone through stretches without talking and then stretches with lots of talking, but… I don’t know. People move away, they form new lives – as to be expected – and then sometimes you grow apart and any conversations you have are in passing, and brief, and of the “so, fill me in on the last six years of your life!” kind, which I absolutely hate. It’s like running into people from high school – “so, what are you doing with yourself now?” Urgh. It’s much nicer when you chat regularly and can do updates that way.
Sorry, feeling pessimistic and nonsensical right now. I blame the exhaustion. I do have a piece I was working on about friendship that I want to finish and post soon, and I will, I promise. Maybe I’ll do some more writing tomorrow.
I’ve also started up the story I was writing a few years ago and I’m going to try to make another go of it. It’ll incorporate elements of what was previously written, and I have some ideas for where to take it. According to GLR, when I finish it, we’ll be married and he’ll already be a famous author and can use his connections to help get my novel looked at. I kept telling him I wouldn’t be going through the same publishing house as him, and I probably wouldn’t be taking on anyone’s last name when I get married. I’m not 100% on that, but I like my last name, and the longer I have it, the more meaning it has for me. My sister and I are the last bearers of this last name, and it’s depressing to think of it disappearing, not to mention that unlike many, it won’t work as a middle or first name for some kid, assuming I have any.
Of my girlfriends who’ve married, only one has kept her last name. I have no problem with women changing their last names, and I can see arguments in favour of it. But for me at least, especially as I continue in a career, my surname is a part of that (which is an argument I’ve heard my boss use). I don’t know, maybe if I get married my opinions will change, but I’ll deal with that when and if it ever happens.