Sometimes I feel like part of me believes I can only or will only be completely happy when I have found that Perfect Mr. Someone.

Yet, my paternal side is full of people who are single. My maternal side has seen divorce and remarriage. My parents and my mom’s parents are the ones that haven’t divorced — even my paternal grandfather divorced once before meeting my grandmother.

I want to lose weight and have the work I’ve been doing be more obvious. I want to get rid of the belly I’ve had my whole life. I want to be someone that people notice when I walk into a room.

I want to have a fulfilling, real career — no more of this month-to-month bullshit. Though I want to get this new career going before that month-to-month thing runs out. I want to finally feel as though I can live in my apartment, like I can put things on the walls and paint the walls and finish hanging curtains and really make it mine… but it’s like I’m waiting in some way to meet someone that I can move into a house with and start making a real life.

Damn my parents for their early starts in their careers and their relationship together, setting me up with these ridiculous aspirations and expectations! I’m not yet 25 years old, why do I feel like I’m so far behind in my life?!

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