Sitting in trees with girls

I have a secret – not all of my experiences in life have been with boys.

I’ll wait for the gasps and the horror – and drooling, for some of you – to stop.

From the time I started being more aware of and comfortable with my sexuality, an ever-evolving process, I’ve known I was somewhat curious about being involved with women. Once upon a time, I … well, that’s not the point of today’s column. Yes, I hear the complaints.

Anyhow, since that time, I’ve never really done much to pursue any kind of female relationships/experiences, for a number of reasons: shyness, lack of really strong attraction to anyone I’ve met, and if nothing else, I likes the cock – I’ll admit it. Again.

However, every now and then life presents us with an opportunity for exploration or fun, and keeping in line with one of my New Year’s resolutions (the first year I’ve made ‘em, so I gotta keep ‘em) – this one to be more aggressive in pursuing opportunities – I recently had the chance to kiss a girl.

Admittedly I kissed a number of people that night, but kissing the girl was fun times. The only real issue I had with it was a height difference thing – she had a good head on me. I’m wee. Mind you, from the boys I date I’m used to that, but there isn’t usually a significant chest in my way.

Girls are fun in that way – when I hug other girls, I’m usually very aware of their chests in relation to mine. Most of my friends are male, so I’m much more accustomed to feeling a distinct lack of boobies when I hug someone – feeling boobies against me is a pleasant change of pace.

Girls are soft and snuggly. I really enjoy cuddling boys, but sometimes their shoulders or chests are kinda high and it’s awkward on the neck. With girls, guys never seem to have that problem – everything I’ve heard is that boobs make great pillows. Goodness knows that guys certainly love to use them as such.

I find a lot of celebrities nowadays seem to be foregoing the look of breasts, and that’s a real shame. I’m not into huge breasts – my own are pretty moderate-sized, and I think they’re quite nice – but I find that a flat chest isn’t the most aesthetically pleasing, either. At the same time, I’d rather see a woman with a flat chest than fake boobs any time.

I just find it rather sad that the current fashion trend for celebrities is disgustingly thin: Paris Hilton is a perfect example of this. The women on Friends have suffered the same fate; watch early seasons and tell me that Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston didn’t look so much better when they looked as if you couldn’t grate cheese on their sternums. That’s right, I said sternum, not abs.

I think what looks best on a woman is someone who looks healthy. Many actresses nowadays may be healthy, but they just work out way too much for me to really find them attractive. I don’t want to be able to identify every bone in someone’s upper body, but I also don’t really want to be able to lose a hand in their flesh, either. It’s all about what is best suited to your body, and if that means that your curves are more voluptuous than the ‘accepted norm’ – think of someone like Queen Latifah, or Missy Elliott, two beautiful full-bodied women – then all the more power to you.

I think that a sexy woman is someone who is toned, but still has some soft to her. I work out now, but I don’t want any part of me to be rock-hard. Even a guy with a rock-hard chest or abs, while he may be wonderful to look at, isn’t necessarily the most comfortable guy with whom to snuggle up. Although I gotta admit, there’s something mighty sexy about seeing tightly contracted abs or a muscled chest with a sheen of sweat working above you to make sure you’re having an equally good time…

But a guy doesn’t have to be super-buff to have that going on. Hell, just a guy working to make you feel good is pretty damn sexy in and of itself.

Anyhow, I think that a sexy lady is one with a bit of softness to her, and a guy can be sexy with some softness to him, too. I love a guy with nice, full soft lips – something I can nibble at or alternatively lick gently, depending on how the mood strikes. I have the same requirements in girl lips, too.

And, using the worst segue ever, but I’m running out of time to write this and it’s something that plagues my mind: what is it that guys find so sexy about two women kissing? In particular, seeing two women’s tongues playing together? I mean, I know why I like to see it – I can certainly imagine how it feels and appreciate it from a participant’s point-of-view, but what do men find so appealing about it?

Isn’t it fun when someone asks you to explain what turns you on? “I don’t know – just ‘cause.” Well, try and do me one better, if you please.


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