The Scent of a Woman
Last week I touched on a subject that comprises one of my favourite angry rants — the smell of a woman’s genitals.
Jokes — unfortunately — abound about how unpleasant women smell, and it leads to fear and discomfort on the part of women, young and old alike… as well as trepidation and uncertainty on the part of men — young and old alike.
Many people will argue that the jokes are harmless and that women shoul dbe able to simply shrug them off. If there was only one joke directed at a single woman, I might be inclined to agree. However (and here my degree shines through), that’s not how it goes. There exist many jokes and commercials and products designed to keep women hyper-aware of the fact that their parts are naturally moist (I hate that word, but it’s appropriate) and with that moistness comes an odour. As I touched on last week, men’s parts also carry an odour, also due to natural moistness.
One of my “favourite” print ads featured a couple sitting on a couch before a roaring fire, about to kiss. The caption? “Because feminine odour is everyone’s problem.” Can you honestly tell me that if there existed a series of ads with captions like, “Because penile odour (or hah, size!) is everyone’s problem,” or commercials with guys talking about how they just “don’t feel fresh down there” you mightn’t feel a little paranoid about how your parts smell? How about if women were regularly joking about your stinky cheeseness smell?
Okay, I’m off my soapbox now. I say it constantly, but I’ll repeat it now — a healthy woman smells musky, at worse. Someone who bathes regularly and/or performs some form of hair maintenance has very little odour. Granted, at the end of a day, a woman is likely to smell stronger than she might’ve halfway through the day, but this also holds true for guys. All it takes is a quick shower to change that, if you’re so concerned.
I said at the beginning that the ads and jokes lead to fear and trepidation for women and men. That may seem a bit of an exaggeration, but it can hold true; many women, even now, are terrified to let their boyfriends go down on them because they feel they’re “unclean” or not pleasant “down there.” Many men, growing up listening to and maybe even making these jokes, feel uncertain about going down on their girlfriends because of the smell or taste. I dated one guy who rarely went down on me because he didn’t “know what he was doing” and apparently somehow thought that he could learn without trying. If our culture valued female sexuality more — and I completely disagree that using women’s bodies to sell everything from cars to ketchup counts as “valuing” it — then would this type of situation be less common?
Everyone’s bodies have different smells and tastes and textures. This is one of the joys of being human — experiencing these differences. Many things take getting used to, and the smell or taste of a woman can be one of those things; you might not like the flavour straight off the bat, and you may never want to put it on your ice cream (a frequent joke around my friends when discussing the flavour of men’s come), but it can be a taste that you get used to, and dare I say it, enjoy?
Some guys enjoy having the scent of a woman’s parts on their fingers or even on their face. I’ve heard it said that if they catch a whiff of the odour during the course of their day, they find it arousing — they remember the circumstances that led to it being on their fingers or face and get turned on; or they simply find the scent of an aroused woman … well, arousing. These guys are kinda fun; not to say that someone who doesn’t get off on a woman’s odour isn’t.
If you’re really uncomfortable with the way a woman happens to smell or taste, try going down on her in the shower, or just after a shower. Here her flavours will be at a minimum, and perhaps with time you’ll find yourself getting accustomed to it. Remember, sex is a shared event; I think it’s only fair to try pleasing your lady orally, especially if she’s willing to do the same for you. But that’s another column.