Now I lay me down to sleep

All kinds of exciting things happen to us when we sleep. Mouths are open, drooling or snoring or breathing or sighing; eyes are closed or, as in my case, open; we twitch, we shudder, we grumble, we moan… all of which is often tied into our dreams, whether we remember them or not.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’ve had some really raunchy dreams, and those have led to my waking up with quite the smile on my face. But as a girl, that’s realy the only “problem” I’ve had with any dirty dreams I’ve had; unless it was waking up too early to be “satisfied.”

Now, when I was avidly devouring the “What’s Happening to my Body?: Book for Girls” and assorted other literature available to curious eyes, I learned of the ability for men to have “exciting” dreams. THese were dreams that could have an… umm… embarrassing physical effect. To white: making young guys do their own laundry. Furtively. What could be more humiliating to a young lad than to have to wash his own sheets?

Okay, the reason behind it might be more so; because, sometime in the middle of the night, they had released a wet, white testament to the erotic nature of their dream. Maybe they couldn’t remember the dream, maybe it wasn’t erotic, but the evidence ws there the next day, as if it were Lewinsky’s dress covering them — there was something there to be cleaned up.

Now, the books made it seem as if every guy experienced wet dreams, as if they all woke up in the morning, sheets or pyjamas glued to their bodies. Naturally, this phenemenon fascinated me, even while I felt bad for those who had to do an early-morning load of laundry.

But conversations with my friends at an adult age showed that few of my guy friends actually ever had wet dreams as a kid, or if they did, they certainly didn’t remember them.

Some of them put their lack of nocturnal spoogeing down to the fact that they began masturbating at a young age; yet I have friends who are celibate and don’t jack off, or who have chosen not to beat off as a test of sorts, and these same friends haven’t awoken to cold come on a warm stomach.

So then, why do some people get to have sexy dreams with a nighttime release, and others just wake up horny? (No, not just with morning wood, that’s different; actually horny).

Hell if I know. The best thing I can figure is every person is different, and run with that. My childhood reading sure led me to beileve that the experience was one all guys had, but obviously not (it reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me just last night; apparently his sex education teacher told the class that all penises are the same size when erect. What a disappointment that must’ve been to some kids when they found otherwise… and bragging time for others, I’m sure).

I suppose that not everyone shares this experience isn’t a bad thing; after all, who has the time to do a load of laundry before they go to school in the morning — at least, when you’re nine or ten?

I think I’m glad that when I wake up in the morning, I just have to do my regular routine. I don’t have to wait until the morning wood goes away, or check to ensure I don’t have any telling stains on my clothes. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy dicks on their own; I just wouldn’t want to own one.

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